Tag Archives: Biceps

Discharged

by Richard

This is really good news, dudes. Really good news.

It seems I’ve been discharged by my orthopedic surgeon. Which means that, barring any (more) unfortunate incidents, he doesn’t want to see me in his office complaining about my shoulder to him any more.

Woo-hoo!

You might remember, I had shoulder surgery on Dec. 17, 2010, almost a year ago. Before the surgery, the doctor didn’t think there would be all that much to do. Boy was he wrong. He ended up having to do a complete repair of the rotator cuff, staple the biceps tendon back into place and shave off part of my clavicle bone.

All of which made for a longer-than-expected recovery time. Of course, going through a GI bleed in which I lost so much blood that I kept passing out and falling to the floor whenever I stood up didn’t actually speed the recovery process at all. I kept passing out and I fell several times onto my recovering shoulder. Yeah, that one hurt.

Anyway, after far too many months of rehabilitation and visits to the doctor’s office, I’m finally free!

When I first got surgery and would be walking around with my arm in a sling, I got a lot of sympathy. People would talk about how getting rehab on their shoulder was the worst pain they ever went through. That really psyched me up to go in and start rehab. Here’s where you think I’ll agree with them, but you’d be wrong.

Sure, shoulder rehabilitation was painful, very painful, but it was nothing that can’t be overcome or worked through. Like most pain, it’s sharp and hard and then it fades away. Plus we did get some good drugs to help with that.

Anyway.

If you’re facing shoulder surgery, don’t let the naysayers get you down. Sure it’s going to hurt, but it’s nothing you can’t work through.

Now comes my reward. For the most part, I went under the knife for two reasons: a) when I tried to roll over onto my right side when I was asleep I’d wake up screaming in pain and II) I couldn’t throw the football with Hyper Lad anymore because moving the arm hurt too much.

I’m sleeping the night through, but the best part is yet to come. Tomorrow, when the rain stops and Hyper Lad gets home from school, he and I are going out into the front yard and we’re going to throw the football around.

It’s going to hurt a bit, but I don’t care. This is the thing that will make the pain worth it.

Discharged, dude. Never did a word sound so good.

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Shouldering The Load

by Richard

I get it. By jimminy, I get it. I really, really do. You dudes can all stop now. Please.

Here is a typical conversation with a stranger, pick a stranger. Basically anyone who I bump into during the course of my day. Anywhere. Anytime. Anyone.

“Hey, what’d you do to your arm? Shoulder?”

Me: “Shoulder,” trying to move on because I know what’s coming.

Stranger: “Rotator cuff?”

Me: sighing, “Yeah, among other stuff. Had the biceps tendon reattached and had some of my clavicle bone shaved off.”

Stranger: “Wow.”

Me: “Yeah,” trying to leave, but knowing it won’t work.

Stranger: “You know, a (insert relationship here; friend, relative, acquaintance) of mine had that kind of thing. He said it was the most pain he’d/she’d ever gone through. I mean, it’s agony on wheels.”

Me: “So I’ve heard. I’m doing all right, though.”

Stranger: “You must not have started the physical therapy yet. Boy, that’s when the pain really kicks in. I mean, she/he told me she/he was crying like a baby every time she/he went to physical therapy. And it kept hurting all the time. For months. Said it was like having a knife jammed in there and then stirred around for good luck.”

Me: wincing in anticipation and starting to feel sympathy pains for my future self, “Um, yeah. Thanks for sharing.”

Stranger: “No, really. I mean, he/she had (insert some horrible, appallingly invasive surgery or medical procedure here) and he/she said that was nothing compared to getting his/her shoulder done and the rehab after.”

Me: feeling nauseous all over again, “Uh, yeah. Thanks for sharing. Again.”

Finally feeling my oats enough to be rude, that’s when I turn around and walk away. Very, very quickly. And normally bump my shoulder into something hard and unforgiving.

So, yes. I get it. I understand that it’s painful. I also know I don’t need to be reminded — constantly — of that fact. You’d think people would get the hint.

Unless — you don’t suppose? — it’s some sort of conspiracy, maybe. Maybe they are all out to get me. That must be it. I’m sure of it. You’re all trying to hurt me. I see it all so clearly now. I —

UPDATE: I’ve cut down on the meds a bit now and I think I should be all better. Just sort of ignore the previous. I know that’s what I’m trying to do.

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Doctor’s Orders

by Richard

So, yesterday, I had my first return visit to see the man who viciously attacked me with a wicked sharp knife, wounding me severely in the shoulder, necessitating my current one-handed lifestyle.

Yeah, I went back to see the doctor for a follow-up visit after he did reconstructive shoulder surgery on me before Christmas. On Dec. 17, I went in for a little surgery to try and clear up some pain issues I’d been having in my shoulder. I’d had pain in my shoulder for a couple or decades (yeah, really. I know. I’m something of a procrastinator when it comes to taking care of my own health.), but it had really become difficult to bear with over the last year or so.

Eventually I gave in. I went into the surgery expecting him to do a little cleaning and suchlike and that I’d come out of it feeling pretty good. Turns out I was a bit overly optimistic. Whatever could have gone wrong in that shoulder, basically, did go wrong in the shoulder. The doctor had to go in there and remove the distal (outside) end of my clavicle bone to remove bone spurs that were growing sharp pointy bits into the fleshy part of the shoulder, staple down the biceps tendon which had come loose and then completely repair the rotator cuff muscles. It was a mess.

I begged and pleaded with the doctor before the surgery that, if it was worse than he thought before going in (it was) that he make sure to give me some wicked scars so I could have something to brag about. *Sigh* The dude was just too good. He was able to do all the repairs he needed to do by going in arthroscopically. That is, he poked four holes in my shoulder, shoved some cameras and instruments in there and then went to work. The upshot of which is no hideous scars about which I can make up a lot of stories.

No zombie ninja pirate attacks. No blaster marks from fighting off aliens. Just four tiny holes. The best story I can come up with so far is that I was attacked by a shark badly in need of dental care. Not nearly as much fun as I’d been planning to have.

To top it off, the doctor spent our entire appointment telling me I had to take it easier. I — apparently — am doing too much and need to rest the shoulder more if I don’t want a return engagement with the knife. First time anyone’s ever told me to take it easier.

I think I might like this guy. I’ve got a doctor’s order to laze around and force people to do my work for me.

I think I might get to like that.

Now if only I could get someone to do my typing for me I’d be just about in heaven.

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