Tag Archives: Benefit

Freaky Friday: It’s All About The Chocolate, Baby

by Richard

There’s the old saw that women, and only women, love chocolate. I’m here to tell you that the old saw just won’t cut wood. Now, I wouldn’t say I’m consumed by the thought of consuming chocolate, nor are many other men and women I know — and, hey, if I don’t know anyone like that then it just must be true because I am the center of the universe — but I do know that I will be eating more chocolate in the future. Why?, I hear you asking. The reason is simple: Chocolate will help me stay alive.

According to a recent study, eating chocolate helps to cute the death rate in heart attack survivors. Hhn. If only I knew a heart attack survivor I could ask about this. Oh, wait. That’s right. I am one. I’ll ask myself. Heh, heh. This makes me feel right funny. In a good way.

Heart attack survivors who eat chocolate two or more times per week cut their risk of dying from heart disease about threefold compared to those who never touch the stuff, scientists have reported.

Smaller quantities confer less protection, but are still better than none, according to the study, which appears in the September issue of the Journal of Internal Medicine.

Apparently, the study found, the benefits to heart attack survivors are only specific to chocolate. Unfortunately. Which means I won’t be eating more of that vanilla ice cream of which I’m so fond. Oh, well.

In the study, (scientists) tracked 1,169 non-diabetic men and women, 45-to-70 years old, in Stockholm County during the early 1990s from the time they were hospitalised with their first-ever heart attack.

The participants were queried before leaving hospital on their food consumption habits over the previous year, including how much chocolate they ate on a regular basis.

They underwent a health examination three months after discharge, and were monitored for eight years after that. The incidence of fatal heart attacks correlated inversely with the amount of chocolate consumed.

“Our findings support increasing evidence that chocolate is a rich source of beneficial bioactive compounds,” the researchers concluded.

The results held true for men and women, and across all the age groups included in the study.

Of course, there is that one slight drawback. Unhindered consumption of chocolate might be contributing to that growing spare tire that’s sitting above my belt. And we all know that fat bodies don’t go well with stricken hearts. There’s a fine line to be walked here, but I do love to live life on the edge. Maybe this is my latest edge walk. Care to join me?

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Gimme, Gimme

No, I’m not talking about that fabulous band of punk all stars, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. I’m actually trying to be cute while talking about something serious.

With the economy cratering, finding shovels and continuing to dig down, charitable donations are reaching lows unheard of even 15 or 20 years ago. And, of course, right now is when they need more and more donations to help the people hurt by the economy.

All of which brings me to DonorsChoose.org, which is, as they so eloquently put it on their website a charity “connecting you to classrooms in need.” This is an exceedingly cool site. Actual teachers from actual classrooms in high-poverty schools have specific projects they think would benefit their students and you can see how much is needed to purchase those items for which the teachers are asking.

For instance, as of last night, Mr. D. of New York, only needed a little over $650 more to purchase science lab netbooks for the critically ill students he teaches. To help, all you’d have to do is go there and make with a little clicky, clicky. It’s actually quite easy.

There are also a number of projects going that need only a couple of hundred dollars, in total, to do a lot of good. There are projects you could finish off with something as small as a $25 donation. It’s all up to you.

To sweeten the deal, I’ll match whatever any of you donate to donorschoose.org. In the comments, show me some proof that you’ve donated to the charity and I’ll go there and match it. Whaddya say? See you there?

— Richard

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Get The Belt

This Christmas, we gave our middle little dude a present he didn’t really want. However, if he does use it, we’ll be all the more happier. We got him a belt. A really nice belt. Wide, with cool designs and colors. A good belt for a little dude his age. Because Lord knows I’m getting sick and tired of seeing his underwear all the time.

Yes, although I never thought it would happen to us, it seems the middle little dude has decided that the only good jeans are those at least two sizes too large in the waist so they keep slipping down his narrow butt. Yeah, he’s a regular droopy drawers. I blame myself.

When the weather began to turn, I realized the little dude needed new jeans, since he’d shot up so tall in the last couple of months. I took him out to get them and — this is the part that really kills me — he managed to trick me into buying jeans for him that were way too big. Yes, that’s right. A 14-year-old little dude put one over on me. The person who prides himself on being mean and sneaky.

Looking back, I see how it was done. I had him try on the jeans. When he came out, I, of course, tugged on the waistband to make sure they fit. I remembered him having one hand behind his back, but I didn’t really wonder about it. I was in a hurry to get the heck out of the store. Really, shopping gives me hives. With the benefit of hindsight, I know he was holding the jeans waist in the back to make them look more snug than they really were.

Sneaky, sneaky little dude.

Now, I’ve got nothing against wearing pants that are too big. In principle. If you want to look like an idiot and keep hitching up your pants every three seconds, hey, your business. In principle. However, when my middle little dude started doing it, I discovered why people are passing laws aginst droopy drawers. (No, seriously. Little dudes can get suspended from school in Florida for wearing them.) Now I understand. Because it bugs the crap out of me. Call me old, but clothes should fit you, not fall off you.

Hence, the belt. He actually said the belt was cool, but we’ve only been able to make him wear the darn thing once. I think I’ve finally found a way to take care of it though. I told him if he doesn’t use the belt, I will. And I won’t be wearing it.

— Richard

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