Tag Archives: barry

In Need Of Some Spirit Glue

Well, that was a spirit breaker.

I don’t know if you dudes have noticed, but I’m a bit of a writer. (Perhaps you’ve heard of a little thing called A Dude’s Guide to Babies: The New Dad’s Playbook?)

Having worked as a newspaper reporter for the first part of my professional career, I equate writing with getting paid. I’m also a bit old so I’m a bit of a traditionalist. That means I want to sell my stories and books to an actual publisher (like Barry and I did with A Dude’s Guide to Babies: The New Dad’s Playbook) and get paid for it that way. I’m not all that into self publishing, although I do see it as a perfectly valid form of expression. It’s just not for me right now.

Because of that, I can’t just write something and toss it out to the public. I have to sell my work to someone in a publishing house, which means I face a lot of rejection. Seriously, dudes, I’m talking a lot of rejection.

Heck, compared to the writing career, my success with the ladies in high school and college was legen. . . . dary. That’s the level of rejection I and most writers tend to get from the traditional publishers.

Lately, however, I’ve been feeling pretty good. My critique group seems to like the book I’m working on with them. I managed to crank out a good-sized YA book in a couple of weeks and actually liked the result. I’m halfway through a middle grades book and also feeling good about it.

However, on Tuesday evening, I received an email from one of the larger publishers telling me, in essence, thanks but no thanks. What’s different about this one is that I was able to get my book directly into the hands of someone who works there, who, in turn, gave it to an editor.

Being rejected this time feels a bit more . . . solid.

In my brain, I understand this rejection is no different from any other. I know in my brain that not every story is for every person and I only need to find the right agent or publisher and they’ll love my work.

But, just for now, I’m feeling a bit like I’ve been wasting my time trying to write. That what I’ve just produced won’t be read by anyone but me. That I’m not going to succeed, by any definition of success that means anything.

Please, understand I’m not looking for sympathy. I’ll probably get over it.

My issue right now is that I’m pretty open with my young dudes. They knew that I was submitting a book to this big publisher. I’m going to tell them I got rejected, but I also want them to see me taking it in stride.

I have to set the right kind of example. I need them to internalize the idea that one setback (or 12 setbacks) isn’t enough to make them quit. Will never make them quit. I need them to know that the only thing that can make them quit is inside them already and they have control over that.

But, right now. . . It’s hard to set that sort of example. Knowing you’re good enough to succeed is a bit easier than finding the folks who will agree with you and can help you achieve that.

So I think I’m going to take a bit of a breather, get myself together before telling them about this rejection. I need to get my head in the right place so they can see I remain hard at work, that I’m not going to let this minor roadblock stop me. That I fell, but only so that I could learn to get back up.

After all, Tempus sanat omnia vulnera.

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Sunday Self-Promotion: Charlotte Parent

We’ve got a second home!

That’s right, dudes and dudettes, Barry and Richard are opening up a second home here on the internet. By which I mean that we’re not actually going anywhere, nor are we suddenly rich or anything. There’s just another place where we get to put a picture of us up an not have people wonder where in the most wanted list we’re numbered.

You might remember that we’re going to have a column in Charlotte Parent magazine every month. Well, things have changed a bit. We’re going to be in the print version of the magazine, which comes out near the end of each month, on the even months (February, April, June, August, October, December) and we’re going to have a new column on the website at least once a month on the even months.

I say at least because the fools wonderful folks at Charlotte Parent have given us the keys to the kingdom. Or at least the password to upload something to the website.

If you think we’re going to let that go by without abusing using it. . . Well, you haven’t been paying attention.

Not that we blame you, of course. We haven’t really been paying attention all that much ourselves.

In fact, we. . . we. . . Hnh.

Never mind.

Even though we’re going to be printed in the even months, we’re also going to have that column get posted on the website as well. So, if you’re ever worried about not getting enough of us here at the Dude’s Guide, don’t fret.

Although, maybe you should fret. Or see a doctor, maybe. I mean, you don’t get enough of us? There might be something wrong with you. And by might I mean there definitely is.

Moving on.

If you’re in the mood for a little fresh Dude content, you can find us on the Charlotte Parent website in the section on Charlotte Parent Blogs. We’re the Stay-At-Home Dudes column.

Come on by and leave a note. You’ll be glad you did.

Well, you’ll be glad you did that as opposed to, oh, I don’t know, maybe hitting your thumb with a hammer. Yeah, definitely more glad than doing that.

The Dude’s Guide: Better than hitting your thumb with a hammer.

I’m thinking of getting that embroidered on a mug or something.

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Yet Another Anniversary

Yep. It’s been six years to the day since Sgt. Pepper taught the band to pl–

Er, what I mean to say is that it’s been six years to the day since the first post was published here at A Dude’s Guide to . . . Everything!

I sort of covered this last week when I talked about the 2,000th post, but I just couldn’t help myself from talking about this again.

No, I’m not the type of person to observe the second half-month anniversary of the first time I kissed someone. I’m lucky to remember the anniversary of the day I got married.

Not because it doesn’t matter, but because living with my wife, known to me as She Who Must Be. . . Something Something Something, is so wonderful, it’s hard to believe there ever was a time when I was without her. (Did you dudes know she sometimes reads this blog? Apropos of nothing.)

Anyway, on this day in 2008, Barry posted our first post.

Here it is.

A Dude’s Guide is a funny and insightful look into what it takes for a Dude to be a better person. We are not saying that we are exceptional people but we try. We will use our experiences and adventures and misadventures to try to help other Dude’s learn and contribute to this Blog.

We will start by using our unique viewpoint on fatherhood and the sticky mess made of it by us and (we believe) most men. We will take takes a fresh perspective on such fatherly conundrums as: How do I change a diaper without getting peed on? How, exactly, do I make the little Dude (or Dudette) burp? How do I manipulate their minds to be good people and eat their broccoli?

We hope to make you laugh, learn and contribute at the same time.

Seems like a pretty good mission statement to me. What say we keep doing it for a while?

Yes?

Yes.


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