Time is a dead man, dudes.
A. Dead. Man.
And you can tell I mean it because that last sentence was made up of single-word sentences combined to make one sentence. That’s a sure sign that something is appallingly serious. Dead serious, even.
Still, joking aside (Hah! As if that’s possible here at the Dude’s Guide [It is, but it’s not very likely.].), today’s post is all about killing time until tomorrow’s big deal.
What, exactly, is tomorrow’s big deal? Sorry, dudes and dudettes, you’re going to have to wait until tomorrow to find that out. Yes, I am a tease. Just ask my wife, known to all as She Who Must Be Getting Tired Of This By Now, and she’ll tell you. I’m 100 percent tease. Okay, not really, but I think you’re getting the point.
Wait. Until. Tomorrow. (There’s those one-word sentences again. I must be serious.) (ish. Seriousish.)
So, let’s get to the short little infonuggets.
° There are two ways to spell one (one, won). There are three ways to spell two, too, to. But there is only one way to spell three.
° Allow me to repeat: Haikus are fun. Here’s one I wrote on the occasion of a recent eight-mile jog in the dusk by my wife, known to me as She Who Must Be Running, and La Jefe, my former boss at Awesome Elementary.
Invisible Taxonomy, a haiku based on a true story
Two women run eight miles
Scary eyes stare from the dark
Not a deer? Run! Run!
° Hyper Lad’s school is a lot more into current events than any of my schools (and I’m including the University of Florida here) ever were. I mean, he’ll come home from school and start quizzing me about something that he read in a newspaper (either print or pixel), wanting to know if I know as much about something as he does. Just last week, we discussed the chemical spill into West Virginia’s Elk River. He even knew the name of the chemical.
That’s a good thing.
The knowledge, not the spill.
° My number one frivolous wish right now (as opposed to the life-changing ones we all harbor, like winning the lottery without wasting any money buying a ticket) is to be able to smell the world like a dog for a day or so.
Buzz, The Garbage Disposal That Walks Like A Dog, has his nose planted (no pun intended) in the ground almost every step he takes on our many walks during the day. He’ll sniff something and then hare off after the scent, looking for all the world like he’s found the most amazing thing in the world.
I really want to know: what does the world look like to a being that can follow the scent of living things hours after they’ve been through the area. Is the world filled with ghostly images? Are there doggy genius loci at all the telephone poles?
Too bad I’ll never know, but that’s what wishes are for.
° Finally, a pretty cool announcement for those of you living in Charlotte. Because they haven’t suffered enough punishment, the fine folks behind the Charlotte Parent Magazine have decided to give the dudes behind the Guide (that’s us) the back page of their magazine for the next five months. Maybe more, depending on if they don’t get too many complaints.
So, if you live in the Charlotte area, pick up a copy starting in February and let us know what you think. We also should be available on the website.
BTW, that wasn’t the big deal that’s coming tomorrow. It’s a separate big deal.
* A very generous Dude No Prize to the first commenter who correctly identifies from where I
stole borrowed this title.
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