Tag Archives: Assertion

What Women Want

by Richard

What women want isn’t just a sad, not-very-funny movie by a well-known anti-Semite.

It is also, and I say this without any fear whatsoever of being contradicted, a complete mystery to most dudes.

What women want? No frakkin’ idea, dude. No frakkin’ idea.

Although, for starters, I’m pretty sure they don’t want the kind of geekiness inherent in using a profanity euphemism that came from a well-regarded (for this sort of show) science-fiction show. But I’m going to let that pass for now.

What I’m talking about is desire. Libido. The sex drive.

With most heterosexual men, the answer to what men want is usually pretty simple. They want women. Naked. Not naked. Involved in some action. Sitting still. Involved in erotic action. Not involved in erotic action. Looking at them. Not looking at them. Basically, you know, just women. We heterosexual men find most women, most of the time, to be desirable.

Women, on the other hand, well, that’s a whole ‘nother horse of a different collar.

What we do know, according to some relatively recent research, is what heterosexual women do want is not men.

“For heterosexual women,” a researcher, Meredith Chivers, says in a new documentary about bisexuality called “Bi the Way,” which was shown at the NewFest film festival in New York last Friday, “looking at a naked man walking on the beach is about as exciting as looking at landscapes.”

Dr. Chivers, a research fellow at the Center for Addiction and Mental Health at the University of Toronto, says she has data to support this assertion. She recently published results of a study in which she showed people video clips of naked men and women in various sexual and nonsexual situations and measured their genital arousal.

(little aside here: genital arousal measurements? I’m not sure I want to know. I’ve got visions of clips and adhesive tape and other. . . things. Nope. Definitely sure I don’t want to know.)

Anyway, the majority of heterosexual women didn’t get aroused by watching a naked man do yoga or just stand around. What did generate arousal, though, were the videos of the naked women.

What really matters to women, Dr. Chivers said, at least in the somewhat artificial setting of watching movies while intimately hooked up to a device called a photoplethysmograph, is not the gender of the actor, but the degree of sensuality. Even more than the naked exercisers, they were aroused by videos of masturbation, and more still by graphic videos of couples making love. Women with women, men with men, men with women: it did not seem to matter much to her female subjects, Dr. Chivers said.

“Women physically don’t seem to differentiate between genders in their sex responses, at least heterosexual women don’t,” she said. “For heterosexual women, gender didn’t matter. They responded to the level of activity.”

Chivers’ research is one of the more recent that seem to place a woman’s sexuality and attraction on a continuum, with purely heterosexual on one end and purely homosexual on the other. Most women, she said, are located somewhere near the middle.

All of which goes to say, well, absolutely nothing. I guess we file this under something that caught my eye, or, maybe, it’s a funny ole world, innit?


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Saturday Funnies: Dude

by Richard

Sometimes I get bored. Sometimes when I’m bored, I’ll start flicking through the google machine and see what’s the haps, as the young dudes say.

With that in mind, I started flicking through the image results that came up when I googled one word: Dude.

It might not surprise some of you to learn that, no A Dude’s Guide wasn’t on the front page. Most of that front page was taken up by images of one Jeffrey Lebowski, known now and forever as the Dude, played by the inimitable Jeff Bridges in full-on spacer mode. If you’ve never seen it (then you can’t be Zippy the Monkey Boy who watches this movie at least once a month), then you’re really missing out on a surreal, spacey trip through the life of a seriously left-behind loser. It’s also funnier than heck.

Anyway, type in dude to the google machine and you get some interesting images. Like this:

Who would have ever thought there was  Jeffrey Lebowski action figure? Not me, dude, that’s for sure. Especially an action figure that comes with removable White Russian, the preferred drink of the Dude.

We’ve also got this:

Obama’s got nothing on this cat.

Of course, as with all google machine image searches, there’s always the probability (not possibility, but probability) that you’ll run into something more than a little vaguely disturbing. Evidence for this assertion? Why, the following, silly dude.

With American Idol finally over, I thought I’d finally be rid of that, that, that whatever the heck thing that is. Seriously, dude needs to stop getting work done. After a while, you’ve just got to declare defeat, muster up as much dignity as you’ve still got the shreds of, and mope on home. He is long past that time.

So, off with you. To the google machine for a little fun. Go. Enjoy.

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