The middle young dude, Zippy the Monkey Boy, goes to a private school, which means we pay (out the nose) for his education. And the lovely thing is this means it’s like he’s going to college for four years before he goes to college.

Anyway, there are times when he’s overjoyed to be going there and [...]]]> by Richard

The middle young dude, Zippy the Monkey Boy, goes to a private school, which means we pay (out the nose) for his education. And the lovely thing is this means it’s like he’s going to college for four years before he goes to college.

Anyway, there are times when he’s overjoyed to be going there and I’m a little suspect. Today is one of those times.

Every year, the high school portion of his school packs up and the young dudes and dudettes head out to camp. Yes, they’re going to Camp Cheerio, the same place Zippy the Monkey Boy, Hyper Lad and Sarcasmo, have spent so many happy summer months.

Now, the school says this three-day excursion is an exercise in team building and getting the students into a different setting to work on their educations and their approach to learning.

Me? I’m thinking it’s more of a mini-vacation for a group of students, who already have far too many days off during the school year.

Yes, I am turning into a grumpy old man. Why do you ask?

Zippy the Monkey Boy loves it, though, so I’ve decided to quit griping. At least in public. Well, at least where he’s likely to notice it anyway.

The good news is that it’ll be two days where I won’t have to actually dynamite the young dude out of bed on school mornings and that’s always good for my blood pressure.

So, I guess, cheers!

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So, Zippy the Monkey Boy and I roll up into the bustling metropolis of Conway, SC, and the first thing that comes to my mind is to roll down the windows and listen for the sound of dueling banjos. ‘Cause, dude, if I hear the first string pluck, I was so far gone out of [...]]]> by Richard

So, Zippy the Monkey Boy and I roll up into the bustling metropolis of Conway, SC, and the first thing that comes to my mind is to roll down the windows and listen for the sound of dueling banjos. ‘Cause, dude, if I hear the first string pluck, I was so far gone out of there they wouldn’t even know we’d been there.

Fortunately for us, the hard-pounding, deep, throbbing (you know, I might have been away from home and the loving comfort of the arms of She Who Must Be Hugged for a bit too long) bass line coming from the car’s speakers drowned out any unelectric stringed instruments.

The hotel I’d picked on the internet was located off the side of the, and I used this word advisedly, highway all by itself. I mean, it was the Bates Motel done in post-modern Soviet bloc architecture. Still, the room was air conditioned and relatively clean. Good news.

Now here’s where I talk about how dumb I can be. I’d looked up Coastal Carolina University and knew it was relatively near the beach and located in Conway. What I didn’t do was to look about 15 miles east. Turns out, the university is right next to Myrtle Beach. Motto: Just like Daytona, only smaller and with fewer redeeming values. Still, Zippy the Monkey Boy and I did have a good time wandering around and seeing what was what. But more on that later. It’s long past time to talk about the tour.

To start with, the campus is small. Beautiful, but small. Which was not a bad thing. With only 8,000 or so students, it was a good size. Zippy was immediately taken with the scenery, the buildings and the fact that the university actually owned it’s very own barrier island set aside purely for marine science research for the students. Now that got him excited.

I was excited as well, but mostly because I’d just hit the part in the CCU brochure that talked about how much it cost to send an out-of-state little dude there for school. It’s, well, it’s a bit of a shock. Still, I did like that they showed some extensive work on possible scholarships offered there. These merit scholarships are given automatically to kids who are accepted and meet certain marks on the SAT, GPA and other abbreviations and suchlike. Something to shoot for.

What impressed me most, however, was the size of the dorm rooms. Those things had 10-foot ceilings and three beds inside each two-person room. I know. I was depressed at first, as well. I figured they were going to be stuffing three dudes in a two-dude room. Turns out, they offer the extra bed as a (and, no, I’m not making this up) guest bed. Just in case. The students can send them back and get an extra desk if they want.

Our tour guide this time out was fantastic. She was erudite, engaging and did a great job of communicating the enthusiasm she felt for the school.

All in all, it was a great visit and leaves Coastal Carolina University high up on Zippy the Monkey Boy’s list of schools he’d like to attend. We also learned something new. Coastal Carolina University’s mascot is the Chanticleer. The thing looked like a rooster, but Chanticleer? Never heard of it. So we looked it up. Turns out Chanticleer was a rooster, known from certain fables, mostly those surrounding Reynard the Fox (a Germanic and French folkloric trickster).

And now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

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Life in the suburbs can be cruel. Not for me, you understand, more for my friend Jon. Jon Arbuckle. I mean, just look at the comic strip below if you want proof.

See what I mean? Although, you might think there’s something missing from this strip. And, yeah, there is. It’s a large, and I mean [...]]]> by Richard

Life in the suburbs can be cruel. Not for me, you understand, more for my friend Jon. Jon Arbuckle. I mean, just look at the comic strip below if you want proof.

See what I mean? Although, you might think there’s something missing from this strip. And, yeah, there is. It’s a large, and I mean really large, orange cat named Garfield.

Some dude named Dan Walsh got the bright idea to see what the Garfield newspaper comic strip would look like without the titular fat cat actually being present. The results are more than bizarre.

Jon seems to be struggling with an existential crisis every single day. Not to mention that he’s going more than slightly crazy in that he keeps talking to and receiving answers from blank space. Click on the cartoon below to see the full thing.

Seriously, this is some very funny, very strange stuff. If you like it, you can also go buy the book at either Amazon or Barnes & Noble. I know I’m going to be getting one.

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