Tag Archives: Aliens

Sunday Shocker: Lizard People In Our Midst

You cannot deny it.

The signs are everywhere.

Our lizard overlords are slipping. No longer perfectly concealed as people of power and influence, more and more REAL HUMANS are seeing the terrible truth.

The alien lizard people are here and they are in charge.

Despite so-called “denials” from, among others, the so-called “John Key, ” Prime Minister of New Zealand, we know the TRUTH.

“To the best of my knowledge, no. Having been asked that question directly, I’ve taken the unusual step of not only seeing a doctor but a vet, and both have confirmed I’m not a reptile,” a smiling Mr Key said today. “So I’m certainly not a reptile. I’ve never been in a spaceship, never been in outer space, and my tongue’s not overly long either.”

Oh “he” thinks he’s so cute, doesn’t he. But we know the TRUTH!!!!

We’ve known since 1988 and the release of vaunted freedom fighter Nada could see the aliens with special sunglasses, but we aren't that lucky. We have to discover the TRUTH on our own.John Carpenter’s “movie” They Live, A thinly veiled allegory about a secret race of aliens taking over the world. Nada, the character played by “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, could see the aliens with the aid of special sunglasses.

We don’t have that luxury in our never-ending quest to expose the Alien Lizard Men bent on conquest. We can only rely on the TRUTH to set us free!

And the TRUTH has been set free: Mr. Piper recently tweeted the TRUTH that

They Live is a documentary!!

— 
Rowdy Roddy Piper (@R_Roddy_Piper)

Nada once said: “I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. . . and I’m all out of bubblegum!”

You are on notice, Alien Lizard Overlords! We Earthicans are out of bubblegum! And your are OUT OF TIME!

No, I’m not bored. Why do you ask?


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Strange World

The world is a strange place, dudes.

It’s to my greatest regret and my greatest gratitude, that we don’t have a fence in the backyard. Because of that, Buzz, the garbage disposal that walks like a dog, must, in fact, be walked. Often. At great length.

If I want Buzz to be walked in a way that ensures he won’t be leaving little brown, smelly presents all over the house at inopportune times, I have to do it myself.

And so I get a chance for a little alone time with Buzz. Of course, it’s not actual alone time, seeing as how Buzz is at the end of the leash, but he doesn’t actually require that I talk to him, listen to him or respond back to him. Which, as you might imagine, is a bit of a relief on occasion.

So while the walks do take out a significant portion of the day, I always find that I’m feeling much better about life at the end of each walk.

These walks also let me see some very interesting things along the way. Not even going to go into the folks who seem to believe that if they are on the other side of a house window that they’re invisible from the street. For the record? They’re not. They’re so very not invisible.

*shudder*

No, what got me thinking about the world’s strangeness was the pumpkin patch of old, discarded (I think) pumpkins I found the other day along a utility siding. It’s a large field of open space that allows a set of power lines to roll across the land without crossing any homes. It’s bound on each side by a small line of trees and bushes.

As I was walking into the open area, I noticed several small pumpkins in the bushes. This being the time after Halloween, I thought nothing of it.

Then, when I went back later, there were more pumpkins. Two of them were rather large and rather white, something I’d never seen before. I’m assuming they’re a thing, but not something I’ve known about.

Strange, I thought, then walked on.

Finally, on a third trip through, I found even more pumpkins on the ground. I counted up a total of nine pumpkins, some large and some small.

Now, I realize it’s probably because the people nearby didn’t want to throw their pumpkins out and wanted, instead, to offer them to the local wildlife, but that’s the logical reasoning and doesn’t really cover why they appeared over a number of different days.

And, besides, we have no way of knowing if it’s true. There could be any number of reasons, from aliens setting bad traps for people who, only a few weeks ago, seemed to have pumpkins everywhere, to the spontaneous appearance of pumpkins in the nexus of all Halloweens throughout the multiverse.

It’s the difference between not understanding something and something being a mystery. Mysteries are lovely and allow for such speculation and, best of all, they are there until we decide to solve them.

Mysteries allow for the strange and the unusual. Mysteries are the stuff of adventure.

The world is a strange place.

Let’s keep it that way*.

 

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Dude Review: Iron Man 3

When Marvel’s The Avengers movie came out last year, with cinematic representations of some of my favorite superheroes — Captain America, Hulk, Thor, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Nick Fury and, of course, Iron Man — I thought it couldn’t get any better.

I was wrong. Very, very wrong.

Marvel Comics continues its winning streak with the release of the third Iron Man movie, called, oddly enough, Iron Man 3, directed by Shane Black, starring Robert Downey, Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, and Guy Pearce.

And, dudes, it. Is. Straight. Up. Awesome!

If The Avengers cranked the superhero action dial up to 11 and then broke it off (and it did. It so very much did), then Iron Man 3 managed to turn down the dial just a little. The great part, though, is that even with the superhero action dialed down, the movie continues rocking hard, with the bass turned up so it vibrates the cars two streets over, shatters windows for several blocks and makes the milk in your stomach churn to butter.

It’s a good movie, is what I’m trying to say.

Really, though, after The Avengers, there was no way to keep going up. It had to be a smaller, more personal story, if for no other reason than so we didn’t wonder why Tony Stark didn’t call in his new buddies to help get him out of a jam.

Director Black and star Downey, Jr. manage this by taking a lot of the focus off Iron Man and putting more of the emphasis on its pilot, billionaire industrialist Tony Stark. He’s rich, appallingly intelligent, dating a good and good-looking woman and he’s about to fall completely apart. He can’t sleep. He has anxiety attacks. And he’s hiding out from his best friend and soul mate, Pepper Potts.

It all goes back to the horrors he experienced over the skies of New York with his fellow Avengers. He almost died. He faced down gods, aliens and an atomic bomb. And just the thought of it is driving him crazy.

In the latest movie, Tony Stark is drawn into a terror campaign being waged by the Mandarin, who has the technical savvy to take over all airwaves and the ruthlessness to execute a man on live television just to prove a point. The Mandarin is played with chilling precision by Sir Ben Kingsley’s character. It’s a brilliant move, bringing Kingsley in for the role.

When Stark’s best friend and former bodyguard, Happy Hogan (played by Jon Favreau, the man who directed the first two films) is caught in one of the Mandarin’s teaching points (what we call an explosion), Stark flat-out challenges the Mandarin to try and stay alive with the Iron Man hunting him.

From that point on, things do not go well for Stark. Especially when a former girlfriend surfaces and says she believes her boss could be working for the Mandarin. And they’re both using an experimental formula she created called Extremis, which allows them to hack the human body, creating explosive super soldiers.

Most of the movie is taken up by Tony Stark, without his armor, trying to protect the one thing without which he cannot live: Pepper Potts. The rest of the country. . . Well, he’ll get to it. But a man has to have his priorities.

With Robert Downey, Jr., behind the most famous ‘stache in the world, I’d watch an entire movie of superspy Tony Stark running around inventing stuff. His interaction with just about everybody in the cast is nothing short of magnificent.

This dudes, is a fantastic movie. You need to go see it as quickly as possible. Heck, Hyper Lad, Zippy the College Boy and I even took She Who Must Be A Bit Skeptical About These Sorts Of Movies and she loved it.

This rates an easy 6 dudes out of five. Yeah, you read that right. It’s that good.

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