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Dude Review: The Incredible Hercules: The Mighty Thorcules

by Richard

I’m going to keep reviewing these until at least one of you drops by the comments section to let me know that you actually bought a collection of the best comic book being published today. And, no, that’s not damning with faint praise. I love The Incredible Hercules: The Mighty Thorcules. It pushes all my buttons. It’s got humor, mythology, humor, butt kicking and smart alekry up the wazzoo. In short, it’s incredible. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.) Oh, yeah. And this collection has the best sound effect ever committed to paper. Take a look.

Come on! How can you not love the purple nurple of the gods?

Let me explain. For reasons too complicated to go into right now, the Incredible Hercules has to pose as his rival, the Mighty Thor (hence the title) and, this being a superhero comic, the two get into a fight. Now, Thor isn’t used to fighting bare chested. Normally that wouldn’t be a problem. But, see, Hercules isn’t above fighting dirty to win and is willing to give out a purple nurple (notice the sound effect “nurp” is, in fact, purple).

Being a serialized comic book, this could be a bit confusing, if it weren’t for the fact that The Incredible Hercules has the most inventive and fun recap pages ever speeding people up to brought. Basically, Herc has to impersonate Thor to stop an invasion of Earth by some particularly dire elves. Things do not go as planned and Thor has to impersonate Herc to stop the whole thing. Once again, things do not go as planned.

Dude! That hurts just looking at it.

Thor, normally one of the most noble fair-fightingest of the Marvel universe takes well to playing the part of Hercules. Perhaps too well. And, of course, notice the sound effect which, if sounded out, will sound suspiciously like nut crack. Hmm. Wonder where they got the idea for that sound effect? (To get a better look at this and the next picture, make with the clicky to enlargen.) [What? That’s a word, right?]

In the series, Herc has been accompanied by a young genius named Amadeus Cho, the seventh-smartest person on the planet. And someone who has even worse impulse control than the notoriously scatterbrained Hercules. In alternating issues, this collection follows Cho as he tries to find out what really happened when his parents were killed.

He’s looking for the man who planted the bomb, not so much for revenge, but to find out if his sister is really alive and, if so, where she is. When Cho finally does find the mastermind behind his personal tragedy, he’s confronted by an aged, bitter and more than slightly insane version of himself and forced into a no-win, life-or-death situation. His solution to the dilemma is uniquely his own.

Because this is a comic book, I wanted to say a little bit about the art. Reilly Brown on the epic Thorcules arc is absolutely fantastic. I mean, you get the expressions you’ve been hoping for when someone describes the action. While Rodney Buchemi doesn’t quite reach those heights on the Amadeus Cho sections, it still does a nice job of telling the story.

In all, I’ll give this book five (5) dudes out of five. It’s, sorry again, incredible. Go out and buy it now. Read it and laugh.

Otherwise. . . Well, let’s just say I wouldn’t want to be you.Let's run it up the flagpole and see who salutes.

Or your underwear.

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A Quick Side Trip

I don’t care what you’ve heard other people say, hardwood floors just do not taste good. So, really, dudes, don’t go face-diving into your floors. Nothing good can come of it.

The reason for our radio silence for the last couple of days is because I didn’t heed my own advice and tried to do a little floor tasting. On Sunday, I was not feeling good. Sweaty. Cold. A little dizzy. I figured I’d come down with a bug and was going to bed. I remember getting up from my recliner and making it into the kitchen. I put my head down on the island in the middle of the kitchen and had the worst case of bed spins ever except for two things: One, I wasn’t in a bed. Two, it got worse. Basically that’s all I remember until I woke up on the floor of the dining room with my wife, known to me as My Lifesaver, Sweet And Sticky But Without A Hole In The Middle, crouched over me shouting orders.

Our middle little dude was on the phone to 911 giving them directions and my past medical history. Our oldest little dude was running around, grabbing our blood pressure cuff and stethescope. Our youngest little dude slept through the whole thing, including the arrival of a fire truck and an ambulance and the entrance of five EMTs and firemen. I was unconscious for about two minutes. (Or less. My wife was a bit unclear on that part. Seems she was a bit panicked.)

Because I had a heart attack four or so years ago, the EMTs rushed me to the hospital. It was a bit easier this time because I was actually a bit more awake and got to enjoy the lights and sirens a bit more. Whee! And, once again because of my history of heart trouble, the cardiologist on call took me up to the cardiac catheterization lab and cathed me. He ended up putting a new stent inside the old stent, just to be safe. I spent a little over 12 hours in the hospital.

The good news was that I did not have a heart attack. Again. The bad news was that I had a vagal episode. There’s a nerve running through the middle of your body called the vagus nerve and it controls your blood pressure. Somehow, I tripped mine and my blood pressure plummeted. And I followed.

The worst part of the entire experience, other than scaring my family, was that I had to lay perfectly still in the bed following my catheterization so I wouldn’t rupture the seal on my femoral artery. That’s where the doc put in the probe that would be used to insert the stent in my heart. Those beds in that hospital were just terrible excuses for beds.

Now that I’m out of the hospital, my head and right hip hurt from my little face dive. My groin hurts from the catheterization of my femoral artery and my back is absolutely killing me from having to sleep in that bed. I’m walking like a very, very old man now, but that should get better. My only other problem is that people are being far too nice to me. It’s unnerving.

So, what have we learned from this? Well, off hand, I’d say it’s a good idea if your little dudes know how to use the phone to call 911. I also think it’s probably a good idea for everyone in the house to know where a well-stocked first aid kit is, as well as a basic knowledge of how to use it. So start talking to your little dudes about what to do in an emergency and get that first aid kit ready to roll. It’s a good idea.

Hopefully, I’ll be back with more stuff tomorrow, but don’t get worried if I don’t. I just got back from the grocery store and I’m wiped out. Even a short stay in the hospital is a trying thing.

— Richard

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