A Dude's Guide. . . to everything

Reflection? In A Mirror, Maybe

Welcome, dudes, welcome one and all to the new year!

Welcome to 2013!

Provided you use the Gregorian calendar, and date from the same year zero as do the majority of the people in this country. And provided you don’t use the Chinese calendar, or the Jewish calendar. Or. . .

You know what? I’m just going to stick with the Gregorian. Your actual year might vary.

Still, with the turn of the year, the minds of many a dude and dudette turn to reflecting on the year that’s past and looking forward to the new year that’s just arrived. This is what leads to the abomination known as New Year’s Resolutions.

I’ve never liked New Year’s Resolutions, as I’m sure I’ve said many times before.

Instead, I like to be a little contrary (imagine that) and simply focus on what will make this day, right here, better than was the day before. Sure it seems like splitting hairs, but with my head of no-hair, that’s not something I do lightly.

Self improvement isn’t something that needs to be done only on one day. My oldest young dude, Sarcasmo, away in Idaho learning to be a better human being, is getting a wonderful chance to see into the depths of his being. He gets a chance to really look into what makes him, well, him, and to see if there’s anything he can to do make himself better.

Frankly, I think that’s something we could all stand to do a bit more often.

It’s been brought to my attention that I might, possibly, sort of, maybe kind of interrupt people when they’re talking. I don’t mean to be rude, but I can pretty much figure out where they’re going with their sentences and I want them to hurry up and get there. People (and, yes, dear, I am talking about you) have told me again and again that it’s a big pain in the butt.

Yeah. Sorry. That is the thing I’ve been working on for the last little while. Not because of the new year, but because I really am trying to be a better dude and part of that is trying to be less annoying to those around me.

If you’re still the type to make New Year’s Resolutions, why not make one to reevaluate yourself every couple of months, instead of only at the end of the year?

It couldn’t hurt.

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Different Is Bad

by Richard

There are times I wonder if they will ever change. Ever.

Zippy the Monkey Boy is a young man already, had his 18th birthday and everything. For almost since he could express himself (at the time, by spitting stuff out and all over me), Zippy the Monkey Boy has been a picky eater. I mean, that little dude would instantly know if you were trying to sneak some sweet potatoes by him and would spit them way, way out.

He continued being a picky eater all through elementary school and middle school. By high school, he’d made some changes and was willing to try new things like fish.

However, I noticed, that he was only willing to try things that were completely new. He would not try anything that was a variation on something he already liked. I thought that was long past, though.

But I was wrong.

Late last week, I was in the kitchen improvising a dinner. One of the favorite dishes in this house is a peanut chicken and noodles. I normally use a specific type of Asian noodles. This time, though, I didn’t have that kind of noodles. And I had beef slices for stir fry, not chicken.

Still, I thought, it sounded like a good mix.

And I continued to think that, even if I was alone in that while cooking.

“Change is bad, Dad,” Zippy the Monkey Boy told me repeatedly after he asked what was for dinner. “You know I don’t like change.”

He kept up that refrain for the hour it took to finish dinner. He kept it up as I forced him to sit down at the table and start eating.

At which point, he shut up, only opening his mouth to put in more of the peanut beef and noodles. And then he finished his broccoli, got up and helped himself to another serving.

Hyper Lad, too, scarfed down a big helping, despite having mixed feelings about the change before he started eating.

I tried not to be too smug, but it was hard. I kept wanting to tell him, to tell them both, “I told you so,” but I managed to keep myself restrained.

I did tell them I was glad they liked it and, in return, I got a scowl from Zippy the Monkey Boy.

“It worked out this time, Dad,” he said. “But don’t try it again on any other meal. Change is bad.”

And I have to wonder, will they ever change?

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Healthy Foods You’re Probably Not Eating

by Richard

We talk a lot around here about getting and staying healthy. We talk about exercise and having the right frame of mind. I’m thinking we also need to be talking about some foods out there that could be of an immense help to you dudes’ desire not to drop dead in the next seventeen minutes and twenty-one seconds.

Or so.

Via the Huffington Post, by way of U.S. News, I came across a great story talking about foods that should be wearing costumes and starring in summer blockbusters. Yeah, they’re super foods.

Go check out the article if you’re interested (and you should be) for the full story, but I thought I’d hit a couple of the highlights here to give you an idea, a flavor (if you will) of the information you’ll find there.

The first food they recommend is Swiss chard, which, I’m sure, leaves you in exactly the same place as me. Namely, the town of Total Bewilderment And Buffoonary. What is Swiss chard? I mean, I know about Swiss, which means this is chard that probably has holes in it, right? Is a chard anything like a chad? And should it be hanging?

Turns out, Swiss chard doesn’t have holes. It’s a leafy vegetable with red and yellow stems, as well as dark-green leaves. That dark-green color is a sure sign that the food is going to be packed with nutrients. And, surprising no one, this one sure is. Low in calories, but packed full of the good stuff.

The next recommended food is flax seeds, which, as it turns out, have nothing to do with sunflower seeds and probably shouldn’t be spit out in public. Loaded with plant chemicals known as lignans, flax seeds may provide some protection against cancers that are sensitive to hormones, such as breast cancer. Plus their omega-3 essential fatty acids have heart-healthy effects.

The article goes on to suggest you try to eat them sprinkled on yogurts, salads or cereals.

The last food I want to go over from the article is also the last food I ever want to see on my plate (other than brussel sprouts, which, oh, good lord, I can’t even talk about it). They’re beets. Blech.

Still, (b)eets are one of the best sources of folate. Folate is especially important during periods of rapid cell division and growth, such as infancy and pregnancy.

Good thing I’m not thinking about getting pregnant any time soon because there is just no way I’m going to be eating beets.

I wonder why they didn’t put the cheeseburger on the list of healthy foods you’re no– Oh, yeah. Right. Because you’re already eating cheeseburgers, so it can’t be on the list of foods you’re not eating.

 

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