Clothes Make The Dude

It doesn’t matter how many shirts, shorts or lovely outfits your little dude or dudette has. They will end up wearing the same eight things over and over and over again from the time they’re old enough to pick out their own clothes, to the time they begin getting interested in the attractive gender.

This, as both Barry and I have found, seems to be an iron-clad, no-mistake rule for both dudes and dudettes. I’m seeing it most often in Hyper Lad. It’s become so bad, I’ve resorted to stealing his shirts on laundry day.

It’s not all that bad. I do it with love.

By which I mean that I’d love to see the little dude actually wear something different some day. He wore, literally, the same eight shirts again and again and again. Finally, I’d had enough. Instead of moving his washed and folded shirts into his closet, I simply stuck them in a cabinet no one uses.

He never even noticed. Never asked where the other shirts were. Nothing.

He simply went ahead and started wearing some different shirts.

Fantastic, I thought. I’d won and hardly had to fight.

And then I noticed that he was wearing the same eight — new — shirts over and over and over. I stood it for as long as I could before the Laundry Day Shirt Bandit struck again.

Eventually, even Hyper Lad noticed he was missing 16 shirts. He said, I think I need to get some new shirts. To which, I silently pointed to his closet, which still had a lot of shirts hanging there.

“But I don’t like those.”

Of course.

Barry had it a little different. He decided it was no longer worth it to keep putting the clothing away. He and his Blushing Bride have decided to now give each kid simply a laundry basket for the clean clothes.

This, Barry reports, is their main go-to pile for clean underwear, socks, t-shirts and the like. The rest is stored in their dressers or closets. The little dudes and dudettes keep using the clothing in the hamper until it’s all gone. At which point, they take the dirty laundry to the laundry room and wash it all again.

Even better, Barry said, when civilized company comes over, they can simply pick up the hamper and hide it, so it doesn’t look like they’ve been invaded by little creatures from outer space that think the floor is dangerous and must be covered by a thick covering of clothing at all times.

Which, if it were true, certainly would explain a lot.

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