I get it. By jimminy, I get it. I really, really do. You dudes can all stop now. Please.
Here is a typical conversation with a stranger, pick a stranger. Basically anyone who I bump into during the course of my day. Anywhere. Anytime. Anyone.
“Hey, what’d you do to your arm? Shoulder?”
Me: “Shoulder,” trying to move on because I know what’s coming.
Stranger: “Rotator cuff?”
Me: sighing, “Yeah, among other stuff. Had the biceps tendon reattached and had some of my clavicle bone shaved off.”
Me: “Yeah,” trying to leave, but knowing it won’t work.
Stranger: “You know, a (insert relationship here; friend, relative, acquaintance) of mine had that kind of thing. He said it was the most pain he’d/she’d ever gone through. I mean, it’s agony on wheels.”
Me: “So I’ve heard. I’m doing all right, though.”
Stranger: “You must not have started the physical therapy yet. Boy, that’s when the pain really kicks in. I mean, she/he told me she/he was crying like a baby every time she/he went to physical therapy. And it kept hurting all the time. For months. Said it was like having a knife jammed in there and then stirred around for good luck.”
Me: wincing in anticipation and starting to feel sympathy pains for my future self, “Um, yeah. Thanks for sharing.”
Stranger: “No, really. I mean, he/she had (insert some horrible, appallingly invasive surgery or medical procedure here) and he/she said that was nothing compared to getting his/her shoulder done and the rehab after.”
Me: feeling nauseous all over again, “Uh, yeah. Thanks for sharing. Again.”
Finally feeling my oats enough to be rude, that’s when I turn around and walk away. Very, very quickly. And normally bump my shoulder into something hard and unforgiving.
So, yes. I get it. I understand that it’s painful. I also know I don’t need to be reminded — constantly — of that fact. You’d think people would get the hint.
Unless — you don’t suppose? — it’s some sort of conspiracy, maybe. Maybe they are all out to get me. That must be it. I’m sure of it. You’re all trying to hurt me. I see it all so clearly now. I –
UPDATE: I’ve cut down on the meds a bit now and I think I should be all better. Just sort of ignore the previous. I know that’s what I’m trying to do.Share on Facebook Tags: A Dude's Guide to Health, A Dude's Guide to Life, Acquaintance, Act, Aga, Agony, anger, Anticipation, Arm Shoulder, art, Ba, baby, Bas, Bet, better, Biceps, Biceps Tendon, Bl, Bu, Bump, Cl, Clavicle Bone, Conspiracy, Const, Conve, Cou, Cr, crying, Dow, Dud, dude, Ea, early, Eas, eat, Eave, Ec, Eds, Eel, Ela, Elf, ET, Eve, Fi, Fo, Fr, friend, Future Self, Gl, Goo, Good Luck, Hanks, Heels, Hera, Hey, Hou, Hy, Ing, Invasive Surgery, Jus, Ki, Kn, Kni, Ld, Lear, Lu, Medi, Medical Procedure, Met, mi, Mus, Nee, Norm, Oats, old, Ood, Orm, Ot, Oth, Ow, Oy, pain, Peo, Peop, People, Physical Therapy, Pl, Plea, Pose, Ra, Rea, Relationship, richard, Righ, Rotato, Sat, Shoulder Rehab, Somet, Somethin, Sor, Stra, Strange, Stranger, Stuff, Sympathy, tan, Ter, Tho, Thoug, Thr, Typical Conversation, Uf, Uh, Urge, Wh, Wheel, Wheels, Wit, Wor, work, Wow, Yea