A Dude's Guide. . . to everything

Summer Safety 2

by Richard

And we’re back. Back with more summer safety tips. Don’t spend them all in one place. Don’t take any wooden nickels. Don’t bet the number five horse in the third race at the Aqueduct.

Wait. Sorry. Not those kind of tips. More like the ones below.

Myth: You won’t get sunburned on a cloudy day.

Adam: Wise up, folks. You certainly can get a severe sunburn on a cloudy day. I know this from experience. And from scientific study. But it’s the painful experience that really stuck with me. Overcast weather cuts down on the light, but not on the ultraviolet rays that cause sunburn.

Fact: Pediatricians recommend wearing UV-blocking clothing or, if you’re going to wear a swimsuit or such, wear sunblock that takes care of UV-A and UV-B rays. Sunscreen should be put on at least 30 minutes before you go out into the sun to allow it time to be absorbed into the skin. Where it will, you know, block out the sun’s UV rays.

Myth: Arm floaties will make a little dude or dudette perfectly safe in the water.

Jamie: Ah, no. Not at all. In fact, it even says that on every pack of floaties. They’re for fun. They’re not rescue or floatation devices. They just look cute.

Fact: If you’re unsure of your little one’s swimming ability, get them an actual life vest. Many public pools have them for use and these devices really are designed to prevent drowning. You should also stay very close to the little dude or dudette and stay in the shallow end. All good safety precautions.

Myth: You can safely leave the little ones alone in the pool for just a quick second while you answer the door or get a drink.

Grant: Again, no. Not at all. It’s just like having a baby in the bath. You don’t ever leave them alone in the bath, you shouldn’t leave little kids alone in the pool. Same principle, only with a lot more water and a lot more danger.

Fact: Stay with the kids. You’ve got caller ID and call waiting. You can always call back to talk about how satisfied you are with your long-distance service at another time.

Myth: Summer is a great time to play with your kids.

Well, actually, that last one isn’t really a myth at all. The longer hours of daylight give us all a bit more time to roll around in the grass, toss the baseball or go slay some dragons on the PS3. Whatever. You’ve got an opportunity to have some safe fun with your little dudes. Don’t pass it up.

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Summer Safety 1

by Richard

Dude, is it hot out there. (How hot is it?) So hot the eggs are frying before they even hit the sidewalk. What? Not funny? No, probably not. Still, it is hot and it is summer. So I thought I’d pop out a few summer safety myths. You know, stuff you think will keep you safe but probably won’t. In other words, stuff that’s going to make you feel very, very guilty.

Hey, it’s my gift to you.

Myth 1: Provided adults are around, pool parties are safe.

Yeti: Most drownings occur when adults are closer than you’d think. The problem isn’t isolation, it’s commotion. Mostly there’s so much going on, adults just don’t happen to see when one little child starts getting into trouble.

Capture: One solution would be to have an adult be the designated pool watcher. You know, like a lifeguard. Well, not like a lifeguard, exactly a lifeguard. Except you wouldn’t have to wear those skimpy red bathing suits. Really. Don’t wear them. Make sure the pool doesn’t have too many toys and you should be ready to watch. Notice I said watch, not sit in a chair and read.

Myth 2: You won’t get heat stroke or heat exhaustion until July or August, when the temperatures really soar.

Bigfoot: Au contraire, my friend. Heat stroke and heat exhaustion are, in fact, more common during the early summer months because our bodies haven’t acclimated to the heat yet.

Capture: Give yourself a chance to get used to the heat. Remember, when the summer’s starting, you’re not really in the shape you were last August or so. Pace yourself and don’t work so hard out in the summer heat.

Myth 3: It’s safe to keep little dudes and dudettes in car seats when you’re only running in to the store for a quick errand.

Kraken: Seriously? After the spate of news stories about this every year, there are still people who believe it? It is most definitely not true.

Capture: Allow me to use upper case and bold here: DO NOT LEAVE YOUR LITTLE DUDES OR DUDETTES INSIDE A CAR SEAT OR CAR WHEN YOU ARE NOT IN THE CAR. Simple enough, yeah? Sometimes it’s a pain in the butt to get them unstrapped and carry them with you, but it’s easier than planning a funeral. And that’s no joke.

Myth 4: You only need to drink water when you’re thirsty.

Jackalope: Not even close to right. By the time you’re thirsty, you might already be dehydrated.

Capture: You know the drill. Drink water throughout the day. Not only will it keep you from getting dehydrated and, thus, prone to more damaging illness, it’ll also keep you from getting too hungry. Swim suit season, don’tchaknow?

More fun safety tips tomorrow.

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