A Miracle Come True (Sort Of)

By Richard

So I was flying out to Dallas the other day. I took the little dudes out there to see my dad and much of the rest of that side of the family for a bit before Christmas.

Anyway, I was on an American Airlines plane. Of course it was packed. Of course it was running a bit late. However, I did get excited by something I saw when I was boarding the plane, as one of the last passengers allowed on. Of course.

There were little signs that read “Wi-Fi onboard.” Yes, really. After all those years of not allowing phones and computers and wi-fi and handheld games and all because it’s too dangerous (even thought it’s not)

Dude, I was excited. Not so much because I had any pressing reason to use wi-fi on a plane, but because I just wanted to use wi-fi on a plane. It was a self-evident reason to do it. It was there. I had to try it.

They even talked about it on the preflight, had a brochure in the seatback about it. Recommended we use the service for e-mail and light browsing only. Free access to news and the American Airlines website. Also nothing not safe for work. Makes sense.

So the plane takes off and I’m ready to roll.

I open the laptop, power it up and connect.

And then I see the fee. Free browsing my butt. You get access to nine lousy stories from the New York Times. You can see some of several Frommer’s guides. And you can spend money booking a flight on American.

No e-mail without paying.

I should have known. Now that airlines are charging to carry your bags, charging to feed you, charging to give you a drink. I should have known they’d charge to connect to the internet.

Yes, dudes, I can be amazingly stupid on occasion. This was one.

Learn from my mistakes. There really is no such thing as a free lunch. Thank you, Robert Heinlein.

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