by Richard
So, after we scraped the crazylady up off the sidewalk, poured her into the car and then carried her up the stairs (falling several times as we tried to keep liquid in the same shape without a surrounding container [we're nothing if not breakers of the laws of physics around here.]), we managed to pour her onto the couch.
I’m not sure she moved for the next several hours. The worst part is, I’m pretty sure she had to void some liquids in there somewhere. Okay, that last part was purely made up. I assure you, she’s nothing if not continent.
Um, I might have to ask you to forget all that last bit.
Anyway, moving on. . .
The crazylady managed to finish the race in under the allowed 17 hours. The fact that she crossed the finish line at all is something I’ll always consider to be something of a minor miracle. Not that she did it, but that anyone can do it. I mean, 140 miles? And some people do it in 10 hours? Or less? That’s just ridiculous. I mean, crazy ridiculous.
I had to be very, very nice around all the crazypeople. I mean, I didn’t know what might set them off and, if that happened, what were the odds that I would be able to get away from them? Not just quickly, but at all.
I think the only defense was backing away very, very slowly and smiling and being as calm as possible. So I did that very thing, gracefully tugging on the arms of all my little dudes, making sure they didn’t say anything that might set off the crazypeople.
The only real problem was that I had one of them in the house with me. Fortunately, she was too tired to work up any anger. Or actually, any coherent thought, much beyond a grunted, “Bed, now.”
I obliged. I’ll let you know if we all survived.
Tags: A Dude's Guide to Life, anger, Breakers, Calm, Continent, Couch, Crazylady, Crazypeople, dude, Dude's, Finish Line, house, Laws Of Physics, Liquids, little dude, little dudes, Man, Minor Miracle, Miracle, Moving, Odds, People, Physics, race, richard, Several Times, Shape, Sidewalk, Stairs