by Richard
There is, of course, another reason for loving Halloween other than the fact that you get to put on a costume and act out your wildest out-of-bed fantasies in front of other folks so inclined. Admittedly, that part is pretty great, especially if you’ve got a naughty costume that goes right over the heads of the little dudes wandering the street. No, the other reason to love Halloween is the sweets. The candy. The chocolate. The melty, gooey, sweety deliciousness of it all.
As (technically) an adult, I have managed to curb my appetite for Halloween sweets somewhat, as, I imagine, have you and most other adults. After all, if we really wanted the Halloween candy that bad, we’d just go and buy it. However, the Halloween candy monkey on my back keeps telling me to avoid doing that and just revel in the fall goodies. And, for the most part, I listen.
But when I start stocking up for Halloween night, something always goes wrong. See, we live in a cul de sac somewhat off the beaten path of most of the neighborhoods around here. What I’ll do is buy enough candy to fill up a couple hundred hungry mouths. What we’ll get is maybe a couple of dozen moderately peckish mouths. It makes for a lot, and when I say a lot I mean a lot, of leftover candy. And when we’ve got leftovers, you know who has to eat it?
Yeah, me. (Notice how I put that has in the last paragraph? Makes it look like I don’t want to do it? Yeah, sneaky, right?)
Which, now that I think about it, might go a long way toward explaining why my Thanksgiving costume and Christmas costume is always too small when I need them and much too loose in the summer. Hm. Something to think about.
Something else to think about? Getting back to the gym as soon as possible.
For some reason I’ve already got that bloated feeling.
Urp. Excuse me. I’m going to go waddle around the block or something.
Tags: A Dude's Guide to Life, Adults, Appetite, Beaten Path, Bloated Feeling, Candy, Chocolate, Christmas, Christmas Costume, Couple Hundred, Cul De Sac, dude, Dude's, eat, Fantasies, Goodies, Halloween, Halloween Candy, Halloween Night, Hungry Mouths, Leftovers, little dude, little dudes, love, Man, Monkey On My Back, Mouths, neighbor, Neighborhood, Paragraph, richard, summer, Sweets, Thanksgiving