I swear. Sometimes I’m positive that Zippy the Monkey Boy has died in his sleep. It’s the only explanation that comes to mind when I look at a clock and realize that it’s after noon and he still hasn’t crawled out of bed. Either that or it’s summer. I’m going with the first expression. It’s got more potential for jokes. We’ll see, though.
Anyway. As I was saying, my two oldest little dudes, Sarcasmo and Zippy, are both living down to the teenager stereotype. They sleep as long as I’ll let them. Sarcasmo a bit less than Zippy. He’ll actually wake up on his own before the crack of noon. Provided there’s a loud enough noise right outside his bedroom. Or I throw a live animal into his bed. A rabid one.
But none of that will even cause Zippy to stir one little bit. I’ve often theorized that a bomb going off in his room would only cause him to snuffle a bit, roll over and then snuggle back into his sheets. I’ve been tempted to test that theory, but I don’t want to be saddled with having to clean up after the bomb. I’m lazy that way. I think you knew that one.
I’m pretty sure this is a teenager thing. I seem to remember sleeping away entire days during the summers of my teenage years. I’d stay up very, very late reading and then sleep until I couldn’t sleep any more. Or until it got too hot in my room, what with the afternoon sun burning through the shades like it did.
It’s a bit annoying, especially when I want them to get up and do some work around the house. That is, every single darned day of the year. So, yeah. Annoying. By the time Zippy gets up on his own, it’s already past lunch time. The kitchen is closed until dinner. Except for maybe a few light snacks. Some crudites, perhaps. Maybe even a glass of light wine with some goose liver. Or some Doritos. Whichever is in the pantry.
So, most teenagers tend to sleep. A lot. My little dudes are no exceptions. But the question remains: Is it good for them?
Turns out? Pretty much, yeah, it is.
But you’ll have to wait until tomorrow for that little revelation.
– Richard
Tags: A Dude's Guide to Kids, Afternoon Sun, Bomb, Crack, Crudites, Day Of The Year, Doritos, dude, Expression, Goose Liver, Joke, jokes, Light Snacks, Light Wine, Little Bit, little dude, little dudes, lunch, Lunch Time, Monkey Boy, No Exceptions, Pantry, reading, richard, Rip Van, sarcasm, Sarcasmo, Shades, sleep, sleeping, Snacks, Stereotype, summer, Teenage Years, teenager, teenagers, wake up, Wine