We’re not here to tell you what style of clothes you should use to dress your little dude or dudette. That’s really up to you.
However, let us just say we think all sailor suits should be banned permanently and purged from our global memory and retail inventory. But that’s just a personal thing.
What we do want to discuss is not how clothes look, but how they function.
Looks have nothing to do with it. We need clothing that works on my daughter. Looks is something her mother worries about.
There are some baby shorts, pants or pajamas that are all one piece. That is, if you want to take them off, you have to slip them down over wriggling baby legs. When you’re in a hurry because there’s some sort of gas attack coming from the diaper, it’s not that easy to whip those pants off.
We recommend pants, shorts and pajamas that have snaps running up both legs and that meet in the middle. These snaps can be quickly undone, the pants whipped up over the waist and you’ve got quick access to the diaper. Then, when you’re done, you just pull down the pants and snap them up again. It’s quick and relatively painless.
Some clothes you’ll dress your kid in are actually a bit difficult to figure out.
One time, Barry put his youngest daughter in this nice dress that had a cute collar and some buttons running down the back. As soon as his wife walked in she started laughing because, she said, “You put that dress on backwards.”
Which, we think, is acceptable.
Women, you see, have an innate sense for clothing. It’s a mysterious inner knowledge that we, as dudes, will never understand. However, we can use it to learn. If she starts laughing at your pathetic male attempts to dress the little dudette, that’s okay. Just remember that you can always pick out some really awful clothes for the little dudette, take her out in public and then tell everyone her mom picked out all the clothes.
See, now you’ve both learned something.
– Richard and Barry
Tags: A Dude's Guide to Babies, Attempts, baby, Baby Shorts, Buttons, clothes, daughter, dress, dude, Dudette, Gas Attack, Global Memory, Hurry, Innate Sense, Inner Knowledge, kid, Laugh, Legs, little dude, Man, mom, One Piece, Pajamas, Personal Thing, Retail Inventory, richard, Running, Sailor Suits, Snap, style, Time Barry, wife, Youngest Daughter