A Dude's Guide. . . to everything

Culture Clash — NSFW (Sorta)

There’s a lot to love about the English. Well, if you don’t count the teeth, the food, the insistence that beer should be consumed at room temperature and the whole monarchy thing. Still. You’ve got to love the fact that one of their leading newspapers just ran an article, complete with pictures, about the Ten Best Sex Toys.

Yes, I am going to link to it. Enjoy. Then come back.

You read that right. That was a link to The Independent, a well-respected, (English) family newspaper. And they ran a pictorial of their favorite sex toys.

Heck, here in America I’m having to put a Not Safe For Work lable on this here post and I’m not even showing any pictures. Not that there was anything particularly shocking in the pictures on The Independent site, but it still illustrates some significant distinctions between American and English/European culture. (All right, I’ll admit that No. 5 was a bit risque, but I am a prude American, after all.)

Here in America we obsess over sex and nudity, but we also do so rather quietly. It’s seen as poor manners to read a skin mag in public, or even be known to have a couple of them at home. Porno has to be hidden. When Janet Jackson’s nipple and breast were shown on the Super Bowl halftime show, heads exploded all across the country. In England and other parts of Europe? Bare breasts are a regular staple of both the television and newspapers.

In America, the word for fecal matter that starts with an “s” is so wicked it has to be written around like, for instance, this sentence here. Across the pond, not so much.

So what, I hear you asking in a resentful tone, does any of this have to do with kids and family? Well, that would be telling. Which I’ll do when I return to the topic on Monday. Until then, enjoy a Freaky Friday, a couple of funnier weekend posts and your weekend.

– Richard

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More Money Than Dog

No, the title isn’t yet another type. In college, I was friends with a dude named Mark, who I always thought of as More Money Than God, Running Amok On Drugs. Long story. Anyway, I was thinking about him when I read this story and wondering if I should have changed his mental name.

This post deals with dogs and cats that are richer than you. And you. Yes, and you as well. The top dog, literally, is Gunther IV, the German Shepherd: This dog actually received his inheritance from his father, Gunther III, a German Shepherd who received an inheritance from Karlotta Liebenstein, a German countess. Gunther IV has bought a Miami villa from Madonna and won a rare white truffle in an auction. Learn more about Gunther IV on a Web site devoted to him and those he hangs out with. He’s worth about $372 million right now, thanks to his growing trust fund.

Yes, you read that right. Gunther IV is worth almost $400 million (MILLION?!?). I’m not even sure I’m worth $400 period. But, geez, this is just crazy.

Gunther IV is followed, distantly, by dogs belonging to Oprah Winfrey. She’s set up a trust so when she dies her dogs will get $30 million to take care of them. Heh. I’ve set up a trust so when I die my little dudes will get some comic books. Hey, at least the recipients of my largess will be able to read, unlike Oprah’s slackers.

As it turns out, dogs aren’t the only animals to receive substantial bequests from daffy owners. Turns out that cats got a little bit here and there as well.

This is the classic rags-to-riches story. Tinker was a stray, regularly visiting Margaret Layne, an old widow. In return for Tinker’s loyalty, he was awarded a fortune. There is a $226,000 trust fund for Tinker, as well as a new home — worth about $800,000. Tinker has been joined by two lovely female cats, Lucky and Stardust. Of course, if Tinker returns to his wandering ways, the will strips him of his money.

I don’t know, but that last bit seems a little strange. I mean, either you’re odd enough to leave money to a pet or you’re not. Making the money conditional on the cat actually doing something seems even odder than normal. Well, normal for these type folks.

I know I couldn’t do something like this, and not just because I haven’t got this kind of money. I just don’t like the whole long-term commitment. Heck, I won’t let our little dudes get a parrot because I don’t want to be taking care of it after they leave the house.

Still, it does make me wonder: How good would I look in a German shepherd suit and would it fool the folks in charge of Gunther?

– Richard

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Space Porn

Sorry to tell you this, but there will be no pictures of hot, green-skinned alien women running after Capt. Kirk*. No, I’m talking about actual photos of hot planets in space. Really. This stuff is so cool and exciting, it almost should be classified as porn.

Here. Let me give you a quick look at some of the good stuff. Just a taste, you know.

Here’s a little description of the picture for you from Boston.com, the website of the Boston Globe. Just a little something to get your blood pumping.

Small, battered Epimetheus before Saturn’s A and F rings, and and smog-enshrouded Titan (5,150 km/3,200 mi wide) beyond. The color information in the colorized view is artificial: it is derived from red, green and blue images taken at nearly the same time and phase angle as the clear filter image. This color information was overlaid onto a previously released clear filter view in order to approximate the scene as it might appear to human eyes. The view was acquired on April 28, 2006, at a distance of approximately 667,000 km (415,000 mi) from Epimetheus and 1.8 million km (1.1 million mi) from Titan. The image scale is 4 km (2 mi) per pixel on Epimetheus and 11 km (7 mi) per pixel on Titan. (NASA/JPL/SSI) #

I mean it. These pictures of the Saturn system of planet, rings and moons are just plain awesome. The pictures were taken by the Earthican spacecraft, Cassini. Launched in 1997 from Cape Canaveral in Florida, the Cassini probe traveled more than 2.2 billion miles to reach Saturn and begin doing flybys of the planet and it’s moons. It arrived at Saturn in mid-2004 and completed a four-year mission there in 2008. While on the first part of its mission, it released a probe into the atmosphere Titan, Saturn’s largest moon and one of the places in our solar system with the best potential for extra-Terrestrial life. Now it’s on to even more exciting stuff.

If you want to know more about Cassini’s continuing mission, or see even more pictures, just cruise on over to the NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory Cassini site. It’s just chock full of neat stuff. You won’t regret it.

– Richard

* Okay, I lied. Here’s Yvonne Craig as that green chick with the thing for Kirk. I just couldn’t resist.

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