A Dude's Guide. . . to everything

The Heavens Are Smiling On You

Here is a sarcastic smiley emoticon . Here is a happy smiley emoticon . Everyone get the picture? Well, it seems folks tonight in the southern hemisphere will see the universe’s biggest smiley.

All this is going to happen tonight. Of course, we here in the northern hemisphere won’t get to see any of it, but it’s still pretty cool.

I’m going to make sure I bring this up to my little dudes and see what they want to do with the information. I’m hoping they’re going to suggest a quick trip to Australia to see the whole thing. Not that we can do it, but still, it’s a nice idea.

I’m going to be scouring the net tonight looking for actual pictures of the event. I have a feeling it’s going to be bigger than the lunar eclpse that happened last year.

– Richard

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Yes, It’s A Sports Post

Ninety-nine percent of you won’t care. Well, neither do I. Still I must post to congratulate the mighty Florida Gators, who have just crushed our hated rivals the Florida State University for Women Criminoles in football. Seems Free Shoes U thought they could take the Gators out to the woodshed for a little whuppin’, Southern style. Seems they were wrong. Again.

The Gators crushed their opponents 45-15 on a night in which our starting quarterback didn’t even play the entire game. Yeah, the Gators whupped those Semi-Holes so badly the back up quarterback was playing for most of the last quarter. Ah, I love the smell of victory.

All of this means that the University of Florida Gators will be meeting Tide-Water U in Atlanta next Saturday for the right to play in the national championship game.

What can I say? I love college football like no other sport.

All of which means I’m going to be tearing out what little hair I have left next Saturday when I’m coaching the first basketball game for my youngest little dude during the SEC Championship game. I think I love the little dudes too much.

– Richard

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A Mammoth Claim

All right. The economy sucks. The environment is quickly degrading. Many, many people are stupid. However. However, there still is some good news. Your little dudes might one day take their little dudes to the zoo to see the newest woolly mammoth walking around.

Good gravy, sometimes I really love science.

Researchers last week announced they had finished decoding all of the DNA of the woolly mammoth. Which means that within 10 to 20 years, we could see the return of this extinct animal. The last time the woolly mammoth roamed the earth it was 10,000 years ago and ice and snow covered most of the world. Sort of the opposite of what we’ve got going on now. Let’s hope if we do bring back the mammoth we’ve got a good enough air conditioning unit to keep them comfortable.

And, yes, I do know this sounds an awful lot like Jurassic Park. But, really, come on. You don’t actually think something could go wrong and these big dudes would go rampaging across the remote island on which they will be resurrected. Do you? Jurassic Trunk, anyone?

Sure the odds of this happening are actually pretty slight, but I find myself really looking forward to it. I keep seeing Fred Flinstone slapping a massive slab of mammoth ribs onto the stone barbecue. Anyone up for a couple of mammoth steaks? I’ve got the coals ready.

– Richard

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