A Dude's Guide. . . to everything

The World Does Not Revolve Around Me Anymore

Back in college, there used to be a joke about me: “How does Barry screw in a light bulb? He holds it up and the world revolves around it.” Funny, yes, but not a good quality for me to have as I try to be a good parent, husband, business partner and friend.

At some point, I guarantee all Daddy Dude!s will have the epiphany. The light will shine down in their eyes and a choir of heavenly voices will cry out and they will realize they are no longer the center of the universe. For some, it happens early in life like when they get cut from their baseball team. Or when the go to college and they no longer are the Big Dude! On Campus. Or when they fall in love for the first time. Or when they have their first child. Or,,, never (but those guys are not Dude!s). To be a Dude! you have to have had, or are having this fundamental shift.

For me, I think that the process started once I had my children, but the real shift came a few weeks ago while I was the chaperon for my son and seven others at camp. Something happened over those 72 hours that I cannot exactly articulate or explain. But, I know that I am much different. I am a better father and Dude!. And much, much, much happier.

Anyhow, I hope that you have had (or are having) a similar experience and will share it with us.

All the best, dude!.

- Barry

PS: I need someone to pass this light bulb on to. My arm hurts from holding it up so long.

Common Interests

My idea of a good video game is one that requires a lot of reading and thinking and not a lot of blasting stuff into its constituent atoms. So, yeah, I guess I’d rather be reading a book. However, my little dude!s are — like most of their generation — much more into video games. I’ve found the best way to actually keep them off balance is to find out which games they like and find out a little bit about the games. Then I can spout off about the main characters and what they’re supposed to be doing. That way, they think I’ve got at least a little handle on not-so-old-and-crusty-he-shouldn’t-be-listened-to. I’ve actually found that if I know a little bit about what they’re enjoying, they’ll listen to what I’ve got to say about something else. Which means it’s time to trot out the sex talk again.

Of course, now that I think about it, moving from Zelda to sex. . . Maybe that says something bad about me. Oh well, time to talk.

- Richard

The Family Room Is My Office

My home office used to be upstairs, in a quiet corner of the bonus room, where I could have the mental space necessary for work. Now, my office is in the kitchen, just off the family room and in the perfect center of the entire house’s chaos.

The reason I moved wasn’t because I thought working in the kitchen would be more conducive to productivity, introspection and all that good stuff necessary for working (including a relentless desire to be somewhere else). No, the reason I moved was because I decided it was time to get more involved in the family, even when I’m working. Minor interruptions are a small price to pay for my little dudes to feel like they can ask me something when they need to, so they know their dad is there if they need him.

Believe it or not, I’ve actually found that being in a whirlwind of family stories helps me relate to the story I’m trying to tell in my office.

– Richard