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by Richard
Let me first start off by saying there is one real good reason to love Six Flags Over Georgia. Namely, their games actually pay off. I won a Tasmanian Devil stuffed animal, a stuffed toucan and — more importantly — Zippy the Monkey Boy won an actual, real electric guitar paitned like the Batman logo.
And it didn’t take the normal three thousand, four hundred and seventeen dollars it usually takes to win anything substantial at those carnival games. He won it on his second try. It cost a grand total of $5. Okay, sure, it probably would have been made for a total of 23 cents, but he’s still almost deliriously happy. Amazingly, the love for this guitar seemed to take all the rest of the need for high-speed stimulation out of him.
Seeing as how Zippy the Monkey Boy is on spring break, we came down to Atlanta to spend a couple of days, just him and me, having some fun and doing stuff without any other little dudes.
We got to the thrill park just as it opened on a cold, drizzly Saturday. Of course, we loved it. The weather meant there wouldn’t be that many people there so we could skip a lot of lines. And we did.
The first thing we did was to hit the Goliath, a huge roller coaster that has at least a 100-foot drop on it’s first part. The coaster didn’t have any loops, but it had plenty of ups and downs and barrel rolls. After that first horrendous drop and blindingly fast rise to the next crest, all I could think of was, “How is this thing going to stay on rails?” Which is sad, really, since when I was younger my thought would have been, as I’m sure was Zippy the Monkey Boy’s, “Yaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”
It stayed on track and so did we. We hit the Goliath a couple of times, then ran to the Georgia Scorcher, a stand-up coaster, that had a couple of loops and a longer line. We also did the Mindbender and Batman: The Ride. The Batman coaster was great because it was one of those rides where you sit down and your legs dangle off into nothingness, so when you’re riding it lo0ks like there’s nothing between you and a very, very long fall.
And, of course, we hit the carnival midway games. We popped balloons and climbed rope ladders. At which I was totally gyped. I mean, the rules said nothing about climbing the rope ladder when you were upside down. I still think I should have won. Whatever. I mean, I’m not sure I really could have talked my wife, known to me as She Who Likes Her Stuffed Animals To Be A Reasonable Size, into housing a 10-foot bear, no matter how cute.
Overall, the place was clean and filled with friendly (seeming at least) employees. It was filled with places to eat and even had a pretty good variety available, Mexican, Papa John’s pizza, a Panda Express. I would definitely recommend you heading to it if you’re ever anywhere in the neighborhood.
I give this four (4) dudes out of five. A nice park.
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Tags: A Dude's Guide to Life, Animals, Batman, Batman Logo, Carnival Games, Devil, dude, dude review, eat, Electric Guitar, Foot Drop, friend, games, Georgia Scorcher, Goliath, Grand Total, Huge Roller, little dude, little dudes, love, Man, Mindbender, Monkey, Monkey Boy, Nothingness, Pizza, Real Good Reason, review, richard, Roller Coaster, Six Flags, Six Flags Over Georgia, Spring Break, Tasmanian Devil, Thrill Park, Toucan, Ups, Ups And Downs, Weather, wife, Zippy, Zippy The Monkey
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by Richard
Growing up, I’d often heard the phrase “Beware the Ides of March.” What can I say? My house was full of literature geeks. Which means I probably come by it naturally. Well, the geek part at least.
Which doesn’t mean I actually inherited any sort of brains at all, dudes. For years I thought it was “Beware the eyes of March” and I kept dreading the end of February because I assumed there’d be some horrible eye glaring out at me from the calendar. Or, even worse, there’d be a glowing set of red eyes following me around in the dark. Intelligence? No. Horribly clichéd imagination? Oh my, yes.
Anyway, I’d just sort of assumed the whole Ides of March thing was supposed to make you wary that the middle of March was some sort of existential trap for the unwary who didn’t know what Ides were. Of course, the fact that I didn’t know what Ides really were only served to make it more important.
When I finally swallowed my pre-teen pride, caved and asked what the heck Ides were, I was more than a bit disappointed. Turns out it’s just the name for March 15 on the Roman calendar. And the only reason we know what it is today is that it’s supposedly the day that Caesar was knifed to death on the floor of the Roman senate and, of course, Shakeaspere mentioned it in the play.
All of which I mention because today is. . . The Ides of March. Da, da, daaaaaaaaa.
Beware.* Be very ware.
*What? I can’t have an off day every now and then?
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Tags: A Dude's Guide to Life, art, Brain, Brains, caesar, Calendar, death, dude, Dude's, eat, Eyes Of March, Geek, Geeks, growing up, Ides Of March, Imagination, intelligence, julius, julius caesar, Literature, Man, March Calendar, men, Phrase, Pride, reading, Reason, Red Eyes, richard, Roman Calendar, Roman Senate, What The Heck
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by Richard
George of the Jungle was a little steamed yesterday. Well, I say a little, but I guess I really mean that steam was coming out his ears and he was grinding his teeth together so hard that we were using him to crack a few particularly stubborn walnuts. See, yesterday was the fifth time he’s had to take the Scholastic Aptitude Test, or SAT.
You know, now that I think about it, he might — just might — have a point. All right, he’s got a point. I think we might have maybe pushed this whole SAT thing a bit too much.
Really, though, it just sort of sneaked up on us.
The first time he took the SAT was in 7th grade as part of the Duke University Talent Identification Program. Basically he had to take it to see if he could get into the program. He did and he did and he enjoyed a lot of the weekend seminars they run for relatively book-smart kids.
It was at the end of his tenth-grade year that things started to get a bit out of hand. His mom and I decided he should take the SAT in 10th grade to see where he stood. He took it and did pretty well, especially for a 10th grader. Then he took it again during the fall of last year. Again, his scores increased pretty significantly. The thing is that he has some out-of-state schools on his possible list and those require a certain score level if he (that is, us) wants to have a small enough tuition for us to be able to afford to send him out of state.
So we sent him to an SAT prep course, during which he had to take a warm-up SAT. That was number four. Finally, hopefully, he sat down yesterday for his fifth crack at this thing. If all goes according to plan, this will be the last one because he’ll finally achieve what he needs in order to open up his options. We’ll see.
All I know is that before I left for my spring break road trip with Zippy the Monkey Boy, George of the Jungle was wandering around the house mumbling something about sine is to cosine as an eviscerated corpse is to a bloody butcher knife. Not that I’m worried or anything, but I did manage to hide most of the sharper kitchen implements before I went away.
Helping to create a future isn’t as easy as it sounds.
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Tags: 10th Grade, 10th Grader, A Dude's Guide to Teens, Attitude, Bloody Butcher, Boy George, Butcher Knife, Corpse, dude, Dude's, Duke, Duke University, Ears, Fifth Time, George Of The Jungle, kids, little dude, little dudes, Man, men, mom, Monkey Boy, richard, Road Trip, Sat Prep, Scholastic Aptitude Test, school, schools, Score Level, Serious Attitude, smart, Smart Kids, Spring Break, Steam, Walnuts, Weekend Seminars, Zippy The Monkey
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